I am in the middle of teaching a class while my son is staring into the depths of my soul screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs, and “his father?” you ask. My husband is also in a meeting because we are both working parents and stay at home parents, or at least we are forced to be right now in this pandemic.
My son Judah is one, and although I would like to say he has an independent personality, at the end of the day he is still only one, which means he needs a lot of attention from Mama and Dada.
Judah is still screaming for attention when I smile and remind my students I have a baby, as if his screams didn’t already remind them, and then I mute myself. During this pandemic I can’t count the amount of times Judah has interrupted one of our meetings. However, My husband and I have established a routine that works ninety-nine percent of the time, unless we both have a meeting at the same time then we go to plan B.
- Breathe – We breathe and excuse ourselves for a minute or two from the meeting so we can address the situation. Whether the receiving end understands or not they must wait because otherwise they will continue to hear a screaming toddler, which shows the power your toddler actually has! The breathing also is a time for you to remind yourself that we are not in normal circumstances while also recognizing that what your child is doing is normal because they are a BABY.
- Do your best to address the IMMEDIATE situation – Since I teach a class, I can’t just stop my class and discontinue the rest of the class everyday, so I address the immediate situation, which is his screaming. Usually, my husband and I have worked out a schedule where during my classes he takes Judah and then I take Judah after my classes so he can do his work. However, on days like this where we are both in meetings that obviously doesn’t work. So I take my laptop into Judah’s room and take out some toys to buy me more time. When we are well organized we plan in advance to work at one of our parents homes so we can have an extra pair of hands to help.
- Come back to your work – If you are doing work that can be accomplished later in the day or can be paused for ten to fifteen minutes or even an hour then do it later because otherwise it will be difficult to do your work when your child is screaming or whining constantly. Take a quick break and address their actual needs. It might be nap time, diaper or time for a snack. Honestly sometimes they just want to play with you so play! As a teacher I have made a vow that I will not help other people’s children at the extent of hurting my own. Again with the time we are in it’s important to realize that people will understand we are in a pandemic.
- Give Grace – No matter how much you or your spouse make financially or how important you both think your job is, you are both probably stressed. Your child also does not understand the whole job thing and why you can’t give them your undivided attention. No one is trying to sabotage you or has an attitude in which they don’t care about your job. Allow space for grace when they might come off frustrated and it feels like they are trying to ruin your workflow. Also have grace for yourself. You are taking a lot on and there is no one solution to get through it. Even with these four tips and sometimes heading to my parents it is a lot to be a mom, wife and have a full time job.
You are killing it Mama! Don’t give up, if you need a break take it! Reach out to family and/or friends if you can that haven been in you COVID circle and see if you can have help for an hour or day. This too shall pass, but you don’t want to miss the joyful moments that are still happening everyday within your home because you are so stressed, angry or frustrated with everyone. Well, that’s at least what I tell myself haha. I hope the tips I have been using for myself can help someone. I know everyone’s situation is different, but I want to remind everyone that you are doing a really great job!
Also shout out to the best husband on the planet earth!
