My capacity, workflow, and energy are different from everyone else’s.

You can read that sentence and think that I am boasting, but you are far from right. I have to remind myself that I am not like other people. This is not to be different, but because I will work myself past the burnout phase.

During COVID, I constantly said yes to more work, volunteering, and fellowship on top of being a wife and mom.

Don’t get me wrong, I was doing this before the pandemic, but it got worse during it. I learned a lot about our world and myself during this time.

For example, Jobs, family, and friends will look you in the eye and tell you self-care is essential. However, in the same breath, they will ask you to do more.
And I honestly would get mad, but that’s because I didn’t actually understand self-care.

I didn’t understand that it’s not mom care, job cares, or family and friends care. If anyone is going to take care of me, it has to be myself. No one knows how much I can take, so they will always extend the invite.

At the end of the day, I have the power to say no. However, I always felt guilty for saying no.

Before I continue, I want to recognize that sometimes people can purposely guilt trip us. Although this is true, it doesn’t change that we still hold the power to say no.

I was so used to saying yes that just the weight of someone’s question or invite felt like a heavy burden even if they weren’t pressuring me.

“Just say no”…yeah, that didn’t work for me.

So I have been trying a few phrases, and I must warn you that I’m not perfect at it. I still struggle with saying yes.

In this season, I might tell you yes without thinking because it is so ingrained in me, but come back later and tell you sorry I can’t. Know that it is nothing personal, and I am learning to take care of myself.

I don’t want to get into the habit of apologizing for taking care of myself or feeling the need to explain why I can’t do something, so I’m still trying to come up with ways to say no.

However, “let me think about it” has been a lifesaver because it allows me to pause before I quickly answer yes to take on the world. Then when I am finally home, I realize if I can do it or if I actually need rest or do something else.

As a teacher, coach, youth leader, mom, wife, and so much more, I am happy to be saying “no” for myself.

If you are also on a journey to learn to say no, I pray you remember the power you hold. I also pray you know self-care should not start when you are drowning but be consistent throughout the year.

Cheers to not overbooking or working ourselves ragged this year!