Although the year isn’t over, so much has happened in the past 7-8 months. I could focus on the tough moments, but it is sunny outside and I want to highlight what has been pushing me forward during this time.
Around 7:00am I wake up to my favorite alarm clock, my son. Each morning he chooses a different way of forcing my eyelids open from the deep sleep I just entered just minutes before. Sometimes he does this with a shrilling cry that pierces the core of my heart, or sweet giggles that warm up my cheeks and brings a smile to my face, and then of course there are the times when he digs his tiny, but razor sharp fingernails into my flesh and squeals in pure delight as he recognizes I’m still sleeping by his side. I couldn’t tell you which of the latter I would choose, or if I would just opt to sleep in for a few more hours.
Thankfully, during those days where I would prefer to sleep in my husband, Kalen, after much groaning and tossing in bed picks my son up and takes him outside the bedroom so I can get more sleep. After a few hours of sleep I awake to my baby boy’s babbles and the smell of eggs and earl grey tea made and brewed by my love, Kalen.
My little family is everything. They motivate, inspire and bring me comfort. When I want to get away from negativity or from the feeling of being overwhelmed I revisit moments like mentioned above. I walk in my son’s room, or sink deep into the arms of my husband’s embrace and it gives me just enough to last another day.
They both teach me so much about life and sometimes I just like to sit back and watch them move throughout the day. I mean how could I not be hypnotized by their beautiful brown skin and their kinky curly hair. I could stare and stare as if trying to memorize every fine line, and detail of their being and still wouldn’t be satisfied because what they radiate isn’t just from the outside but from within. I love my son and husband.
With the pandemics going on of covid-19, racism and gang violence, I find peace in my family. I find excitement knowing that although we must stay home I have the privilege of staying home with my first child for the completion of his first year of life. There is so much positivity and with that being said I want to be clear with what I mean.
In no way or form am I choosing to ignore everything or other events that are occurring at this time that might be tougher on me mentally, physically or spiritually. However, I am choosing overall health. My own holistic health as well as my families, which is why it is so important to me to be able to still enjoy my little family and prioritize our amazing moments that happen daily even if it is only for a brief second. I refuse to get sucked into a black hole of hyper-focusing on all that is bad instead of seeing it all while still focusing on my own well being. My little family helps me do that and although it might be selfish of me I am thankful for how they make me feel in times of being overwhelmed.
